A Very Un-settling Weekend

That song from Alice in Wonderland keeps running through my head, but instead of "A very merry un-birthday to you, yes you," I am singing, "A very un-settling weekend..." We had a long week trying to get out of VA with a few little bumps including needing to find a new renter and a free washer and dryer. Then we had to figure out how to get everything into our 8 suitcases and 7 carry-ons. The most difficult part was figuring out how to get all of that (plus a stroller and 2 car seats) from the rental van to the American Airlines counter. We're in a temporary house for the time-being (the main reason we don't feel settled) and hope to move to our permanent house in the next 10 days. We've been living out of suitcases for two weeks and we can do it another two (but I'm not sure how much longer than that).

And granted, we encountered a lot more roadblocks (literally) when we made the move to Bolivia in 08, but after a year of health issues for The Boy (and me) and all the renovations we made on the townhouse, last week seemed to be one of the most difficult. We were looking forward to our tropical paradise!

So far it is everything that was promised. Hot. Humid. Blue skies. Creepy-crawlies. The Kids' favorite thing to do in the morning after breakfast is to go out front and search for lizards. Then we go out back to see our never-quiet bird and more lizards, skinks, and wild animals. On the way out of the house today we saw a roach or small rabbit (I couldn't tell but Jack was sure we were looking at an exoskeleton) being devoured by an army of ants. Apparently the same situation is occurring in our downstairs bathroom (says our sponsor) but we have yet to check it out. With 4 other bathrooms we haven't felt the need.

The Kids are doing great. The Girl spent the past month asking everyone she was alone with if they were going to "the Minican Republic." I think she was worried that we were going to forget her. She also made the transition from the crib to a bed so it has proven difficult to contain her first in the hotel and now in this giant house. The Boy is anxious to go to school and keeps asking me to translate everything into Spanish. When I don't know a word he says, "I wish that you knew the whole language," which makes me feel pretty lazy and stupid. I was disappointed that he didn't seem at all impressed when someone from the embassy came to check our generator this morning. I couldn't get the door open but I could tell the man, "No tengo mis llaves. Un momento, por favor." But I imagine The Boy expects me to know where the keys are as well as every word in the Spanish language.

And the hits keep coming...

As if we don't have enough to keep us busy... The Boy took a spill at my mom's last night. It was a gusher. I think I was a little in shock because I could only follow my sister's directions to get ice, water, etc. She was amazing.

We visited the dentist today (our goal is to benefit all medical specialties in the Bay Area) for an exam and (more) xrays. The prognosis: his tooth may turn a different color (we're hoping for Penn State blue if we can't have white) or it might fall out. Given that it will eventually fall out, we're not too freaked. No more riding Gigi's lawn cart, though!

Here he is after we cleaned up all of the blood. What a toughie!

Sea Level, Baby!

Yeah. That's what I am talking about. The Girl has gained 5+ pounds in the past 4 weeks. Here she is at 26 whopping pounds. I love it, although carrying her is no fun.

And here she is after she took off her diaper and rolled in her own poo. She had it all over the back of her head, all over her face, and under her finger and toe nails. It took two baths and over 30 minutes of soaking to get her all cleaned up and back to a precious little sweetie.

Not to be outdone in silliness and bodily functions... The Boy soaked his diaper and it exploded all over the high chair in the middle of breakfast. Okay, really that's my fault.

Beef... It's What's for Dinner? Along with Rice, Potatoes, Chicken, Fruit, Veggies...

The Girl makes eating an art form. No, that's not right. She takes it seriously, like it is her job. Her full time, high-paying, great benefits, corner office job. She's incredible. We all know that the altitude plays a huge role in our drastic weight loss and her lack of weight gain, but after less than 3 weeks in the States, she has gained a whopping 4 pounds. She's gone from 10% to... well, a lot more than 10%!

Today, she had half of a Baja Fresh quesadilla for lunch with rice and applesauce. I thought for sure she wouldn't be hungry for dinner until 6pm. At 5:30 she started crying and climbing into her seat. When I finally served dinner, she wolfed down two meatballs and two bowls of spaghetti plus corn and a little bread. She topped it off with 12 ounces of milk. At one point, she gave me and The Boy a startled look like, "When did you two sit down?" Seriously, she's incredible.
I have thought about cutting her off and making her get down from the table, but she usually cries or tries to steal food from the other kids. So far, she hasn't puked... okay, just once... but she had a ridiculous amount of food that time (in Tarija - but everyone eats a ridiculous amount of food in Tarija!).

Here's a picture of her and her mush. Click the picture for more of our adventures here in Cali in the past week.

Now you won't want a nectarine...

An update on The Boy...

We came back to the States to see docs about The Boy's poop (or lack thereof) condition. Since last Monday, we've had 4 appointments, a urinalysis, an hour-long ultrasound, and endless stress. Yesterday and today, The Boy had 4 doses of laxative (each day) including Miralax and Exlax. By late this afternoon he still hadn't made any progress toward a poop, so we called the doc and he suggested a suppository so that The Boy doesn't have to be admitted to the hospital on Monday for a clean-out. 20 minutes after the suppository, The Boy released a cannonball turd the size of a nectarine and about a cup (you asked... okay, maybe you didn't, but other people did. Stop reading if this is too much information) of poo-fluid. I could tell that the "nectarine" had been in there a long time. Great! So next week he gets an x-ray and some blood word and on the 26th, we meet with the GI to see what the next step is. And believe it or not... that's the cleaned up summary!

I did it...

I finally joined Facebook. You should "friend me" as the kids say and check out the adorable pics that Ana took of The Girl while I was gone in Miami with The Boy. Or click the picture below...

We're Home... again

The Boy did it! He is all cleaned out. And I know for a fact because I have the xrays to prove it. Absolutely amazing, he has a spine, heart, stomach, hip bones. You can see them all on the new xray because they are not hidden by the enormous amounts of fecal matter (officially called FOS - full of sh!& - seriously, that's what multiple docs have called it). All it took was a lot of patience and a little bit - okay a lot - of adult laxatives.

Turns out that The Boy had a blockage and needed some flushing. He got that alright, but I'll spare you the details. All you need to know is that I am officially off #2 diaper duty for a very long time. And the only thing The Boy remembers about Miami (no, not the awesome airboat ride) is when he peed* down his leg. He tells everyone. And I mean everyone. He even told the Embassy driver that picked us up from the airport. *Note: The kid was on laxatives. It wasn't pee.

As soon as he was cleared, we hopped a plane home. Of course it was on American Airlines so nothing went smoothly and we arrived home 3 hours late (and on a different aircraft than the one we originally boarded). Thirsty, hungry, and feeling every single one of the 13,000 feet. I've already restarted the Bolivia weight-loss program.

We are both so glad to be home. Everyone has noticed a drastic change (for the better) in The Boy's personality. He is pleasant to be around, plays nicely with his little sister, and is an all around super-happy kid. It is amazing. I can't believe we went this long without getting help.

The Girl has been a little hesitant toward me. She has changed so much in the past two weeks. Her tongue has grown - I swear! It is so big and long. She sticks it out all the time and laughs hysterically. I think even she is surprised. She's standing on her own and takes half-steps before face-planting. It is incredible.

So we should be nearing the end of my incessant poop-focused blogs. I can't promise you anything, though, because we have become quite fond of the topic...

WHAT was he thinking?

These incidents go under the heading... What was he thinking? Seriously, please tell us because we're afraid to have The Boy live with us any longer because he is just getting too weird.

On Saturday night, a friend of ours came over for dinner and a game of Killer Bunnies. The Boy wasn't nearly punchy enough to go to bed (and he was working on a "package" as they say in Bolivia), so we let him play by himself in the playroom attached to the dining room. All of a sudden, The Boy, normally shy around Eric, struts out of the playroom with his hands behind his back and makes a bee-line for Eric. MH asked him what he was doing and he gets close to Eric and reveals a toy hamburger and a toy knife. What was he thinking?

Then, last night The Boy continued to work on his package (as you know we have problems with this process and we have to give him suppositories every few days - which he often pushes out before they can work). When his papa tucked him in he said that he wanted to wait to poop until I got there (thanks). I tucked him in and went back to my work organizing our medicine closet (it is literally a closet in our bedroom... there are a lot of things you need medicine for here!) when MH whisper-shouts my name. I still don't know if it was because The Girl was sleeping or if because MH was horrified by what he found. I ran to The Boy's room to find that he had dropped trou and there on the floor was a turd the size of a coke can and The Boy was looking terrified. Then he points at the undissolved suppository and says, "I don't like that." What was he thinking?

And my favorite... here is a picture of how I found him during nap time the other day. That's his laundry basket he's in. WWHT?

Santa's Elves

Here are The Girl and The Boy cuttin' loose with their cousins Sophie, Max, and Nico. Which dance is your favorite?

• Disco
• Charleston
• Country
• Classic
  

Christmas Cards

So we're not going to send out Christmas cards this year for two reasons.

A.) Our mail takes sooooo long from here that it would be Easter by the time you got the card.

B.) My cousin stole our idea for a Christmas card and sent this out.


The only difference was that our Christmas card was going to be a nudey photo of MH with The Dog. The good thing is that by next year you'll all forget about the above picture. You probably won't be able to get the image of Nudey MH out of your mind for a much much longer time, however. Sorry about that.

An early Merry Christmas to you...

The Boy At School

Click the picture for 3 more pics of The Boy at school.

Something About Mary-can Airlines

So I promised you an update when we got back to Cali. That's going to take a while. We have yet to make it out of South America. We had a delightful trip to Santiago and during dinner at Ruby Tuesday's our expediter and I noticed The Boy was out of sorts. By the time we got to the gate, he had a 103.something fever and American Airlines had the medics come to check him out. They determined he was too sick to go on the flight. We've been stuck in Santiago for 24 hours now. From what I have seen this city is awesome. Unfortunately, I have only really seen our swanky hotel and the Hypermercado. We've also seen two docs who gave us different stories.

• The Boy has an ear infection.
• The Boy doesn't have an ear infection but since he sucks his thumb, he has done serious damage to his bite.

As I blog, The Boy is sleeping restlessly and keeps screaming out. He has another fever and I can't wait until we get home and his grandparents can take care of him. The Girl, on the other hand, is sleeping peacefully in the bathroom. I have always found that room to be quite comforting, but I can't say I have ever fell asleep in it. Alas, it is only Monday!

Labor Day Slide Show

It truly is a labor to go through all these pictures.
Sorry, I couldn't choose.
Click The Girl for more!

August Slideshow

Click for more pictures
Hanging Out At Home

Adult Supervision Required

Yes, that is a naked baby there. As you know, we let our nanny and cook go at the beginning of August. We have help now, but for a week I was on my own trying to take care of the kids, polish the floors, wash the veggies in bleach, and unpack all of our boxes from the move. It was a long week to say the least. I realized on Day 3 that I am in need of adult supervision. That's when The Boy recreated that opening scene of Starman.

Actually, I think it was the day before that I realized I needed help... and fast. It is hard enough chasing The Boy around the house with the only baby gates in the place blocking the stairs. There are still many danger points like the fireplace and the office. On top of that we had 213 boxes to unload. We were trying to make the downstairs livable because the poor blind Dog was getting confused. As I was working away, I heard a faint voice whisper, "I am cutting my toenails." I turned around to find The Boy on the floor with a single-hole puncher! Ahhh. Disaster averted, but can you imagine if I had to explain that one to the doctor?!

The Boy must have been equally dismayed by my lack of nanny-ing skills. He found his own method of controlling himself, and I have to say, I thought it was ingenious. Here he is locked in The Dog's kennel. I swear, this wasn't my idea.

We've been thinking of using the kennel on a more permanent basis. The Boy figured out how to get out of his crib, so in order to keep him from harm, we decided to move him to a toddler bed. Obviously, he is our first child because when we set up the bed, we failed to remove any toys and distractions from his room. That is why on the first day when I went to retrieve him from his nap, I found that The Boy had destroyed his room. Furthermore... the cabinets at the very tippy-top of his desk? At some point during the toddler-bed acclimation he climbed up to the cabinets and opened them. Needless to say, we didn't sleep very well for a few days because we kept getting up to check that old Spidey hadn't climbed the walls in the middle of the night. A few days after we switched (and removed all toys, books, and climbable furniture from his room), we awoke to find the boy sitting in bed with the iPod speakers. I still can't figure out how he got them.

All The Girl has to say is, "They think I'm going to be a problem when I am 13? I'm going to remind them of this."

Thumb Four Says...

Clicky Clicky to See Our Pic-ies - June/early July Slideshow

Pat and Stanley

I don't know how we found this, but check out Pat and Stanley. This is The Boy's new favorite thing to watch. We must have seen it 300 times since Thursday. He says "Do-a-gin" (do again) at the end. You can see more of their videos here. Click: Movies>Pat and Stanley/tv series>the hippo. You can also check them out on YouTube.

"I'm gonna hug you and kiss you and love you forever (and never use you up)"

When did my babies grow up? Seriously? A few days ago we let The Boy carry The Dog's dish over to where she eats. He was so careful and slow. We told him to use both hands and the only time he let go was when he had to take a step down into the kitchen. His eyes darted back and forth between the bowl and the step. When The Dog hears the dog food container open, she gets up and does her "I'm going to eat soon" stretching routine. When The Boy hears the container he runs over and takes the bowl away from whoever is scooping the dog food. And today we were reading "The Hat" by Jan Brett. When I pointed to the picture where all her clothes disappear from the clothesline and asked The Boy where he thought the clothes were he said, "In the laundry room." Are other two-and-a-half year olds this incredible?

And The Girl. She no longer likes to be in a reclined position. She likes to sit up and see everything and everybody (unless she is on her playmat). She grabs toys, magazines, shirts... anything within reach (except our glasses - unlike her brother at that age) and she especially loves my "long" hair. I feel like The Boy missed out because my hair was so short the first part of his life. He didn't get any fun pulling in.

They both love The Dog. I feel like The Boy didn't notice The Dog until a few weeks ago. He'd occasionally pet her or play near her. Now, he incorporates The Dog into his play. He drives his cars on and around her. He brushes her with his small broom. At night he lays on the floor next to where she's sleeping by the fire like it is the most fascinating experience he's ever had. When The Dog walks into the room, The Girl goes wild. She laughs and reaches out for The Dog's ears. She's so happy and I can tell she just wants to love The Dog to pieces. She reminds me of that character from Tiny Toons and Animaniacs, Elmyra Duff. You'll get the idea if you watch the first two minutes of this clip.

What would I do without the Internet? Just watch my kids and not report about it. How boring?!

This Week in Bolivia...

Just the highlights of this week:

• (last) Saturday: had breakfast with MH's colleague. The Boy at two bowls of fruit, 2 waffles, and a banana yogurty shake. Then we went to the Marine Corps 4th of July party. The Boy at a hotdog, hamburger, and potato salad (we had the same but that isn't as impressive). The Girl slept through everything even the band.

• (last) Sunday: Attempted to take a hike behind the house. Once we got the backpacks on and the kids lubed in suntan lotion, we were ready for a rest. We only went out for about 25 minutes because the first hill was too steep for us to enjoy the rest of the hike. MH and I started to feel sick and dizzy in the late evening.

• Monday: I couldn't bring The Girl back to her bed after I fed her at 2am because the walls were moving. In the morning we both realized that something was terribly wrong. Unfortunately, we had just watched Into The Wild so we thought the worst was coming. MH told me about a party at the Ambassador's house later in the week so I had to drag myself down to the shopping district to buy something appropriate. The only shop that was open between 1 pm and 3:30 pm was Benetton. I seriously insulted the saleswoman by telling her I needed something "fancy." She held up a skirt that looked like it had been run over by a truck and said, "This is fancy." I decided to try on pants. To punish me for my rudeness, she brought me pants sooooo small that I literally couldn't get one leg into them. Felt like I was a giant.

• Tuesday: MH and I were still feeling pretty terrible. Everything we ate went right through us - even crackers. MH had two saltenas (great idea - Bolivian hotpockets on a bad stomach) at an office birthday party and then had to run out during Happy Birthday. I wasn't having any better luck at home - staff cleaning our room... had to run to the kids' bathroom. At bathtime, MH noticed something in the kids' toilet (remember my friend I brought back from Madagascar?) Called the nurse and had to schedule appointment for me for Wednesday. Didn't get much sleep - even my hypnosis couldn't help me relax.

• Wednesday: Nurse says I could have something living in my intestines... or maybe just in our toilet. We won't know for sure even after I finish doing my samples. The Boy's stomach catches up to ours. He has diarrhea 8 times. The Cook makes BBQ chicken and spicy roasted vegetables. Oh and pumpkin pie. Best thing I have ever eaten. We're all sick (except The Girl) afterwards.

• Thursday: More of the same. We're all sick. Chicken soup for dinner. Instead of rice or pasta it had quinoa. Best thing I have ever eaten. All sick afterwards.

• Friday: Happy 4th of July. Embassy closed for holiday. Send taxi driver to lab with poop sample. Pay him 40 cents extra. Decide not to go to Ambassador thing with MH because I haven't been able to go out to buy shoes and he heard it would be pretty boring for me. Play "American" music for The Boy. He now loves Blue Grass and dancing with his broom/guitar. Spend 40 minutes watching Bolivian news to see if we can see MH in the crowd at the Ambassador's. Spend about 30 minutes talking about eating the last two pieces of pumpkin pie. Discover The Cook and The Nanny ate the pumpkin pie for lunch. I go to bed mad. MH eats tortilla chips and salsa. Can't understand why his stomach hurts.

• Saturday: Wake up at 1 am to BOOM BOOM BOOM of Karaoke Bar soundtrack. Continues for 2 hours. Sleep in (and are sick after breakfast) and find The Boy in his crib in only a diaper. Apparently he didn't like his pjs. Hotdogs and pasta salad for lunch to celebrate America's "Special Day." The Boy didn't know it was a day late. He was excited all the same. Sick again. The Boy spent the morning talking through the grate between our hallway and bathroom. Thought it was hysterical that I could hear him through the wall. MH went to market to buy cd player, phone, and vacuum. Cab driver on the way home had The Backstreet Boys blaring. How did MH know it was TBB? The Girl is getting on a better sleep schedule. Actually slept for 2 hours this afternoon. Went to another American's for a picnic. The Boy wanted a hotdog after they ran out so he followed a little kid eating a hotdog around. Hope that they had as good a time with us as we did with them. Taxi that arrived to bring us home didn't have seatbelts. MH plays with the new vacuum while we take turns complaining about our stomachs and heads but still plan to go out to eat for breakfast. Obviously we have not learned our lesson.

TDU

The Boy really likes these new Army truck stickers he got in the mail, but I just realized he is destined to be a sailor. Poor guy is a walking TDU. He's had this poop issue for at least nine months. He just doesn't want to let it go. At first we thought he was pushing really hard and then we realized that he was up on his toes because he was holding it in. It has gotten progressively worse. At first he'd stop playing (for days) and stand by a door or window, hold on for dear life, and squeeze everything closed. For a while we bribed him with Blue's Clues. He was allowed to watch an episode if he pooped. Then he was like one of Pavlov's dogs. The moment he saw Steve...

Recently he's turned into a mob boss... he always has his back to a wall with his eye on the door. It is kind of our fault. We got this brilliant idea that if we sneak up behind him, put him on the ground, and push his knees to his shoulders we'd help him "release." Hence the TDU. It works great... like a torpedo. Then again, he's always looking over his shoulder to see if we're sneaking up on him. Here he is in March before it got bad - yeah, he's carrying my purse. That's for another posting.