As we all know, I was horribly, I repeat, horribly ill the past few days. At one point I thought I saw the great White Light, but then I realized that I was lying on the bathroom floor looking with contact-less eyes at the side of the toilet. As I said, horribly ill. That was Sunday night. For the past three days, I have not been able to eat anything. I've been drinking water and a gross electrolyte "beverage" from the doctor.
Today, Day 3, I expected to be up and about, but all morning long I was nauseous and weak. I told The Cook that I couldn't eat lunch, so she brought tea up to my room. Normally she brings me chamomile tea - not my favorite but it makes my tummy feel all warm and tingly (in a good way). Today she was going on about the number three and that the tea will make my body feel good. Okay, whatever. I briefly thought she put three tea bags in or dunked the bag three times. I didn't really care. I was dying (I thought). So I downed the tea and my belly felt warm and tingly. End of story? No.
About an hour later I felt hungry. Me, hungry? I haven't eaten since Sunday! So I went downstairs to scavenge for food and I found Jell-O! Well, not real Jell-O, but Bolivian Jell-O. I started to make the box which apparently will feed a small army (of picnicers? Who else eats Jell-O?). The Cook came in and took over and I stood and stared at the complex process. Two hours later I came down for what now seemed like the only thing on earth I could eat. I had a bowl of Jell-O with The Boy and instantly I felt better. Seriously. I ate a real meal at dinner: chicken, broccoli, potatoes, carrots... and I didn't have any adverse reactions. Insane. Jell-O made me whole again. I felt so good that MH and I decided to have more Jell-O after The Kids went to bed. He said his stomach didn't hurt either. It was a Christmas-in-July Miracle, I tell you.
As we relaxed on the couch and discussed all the other foods I could now eat (popcorn, crackers, pasta, leftover chicken - mmm my mouth is watering), MH asked, with a snigger, if I noticed that The Cook bought coca tea. Coca tea is used by the locals to fight altitude sickness and anything else that ails them. There is a slight bit of the same chemical in it that is in cocaine. I hadn't noticed and for a second I worried that maybe that was what I had today. I don't really have anything against coca tea, but I am not sure if I should be drinking it if I am nursing. But MH said the tea has anise in it - which I hate and can detect from 300 miles - so I comforted myself with the fact that I didn't have any coca tea. That is until I went into the kitchen and saw the package of tea. That's exactly what I had for lunch!! All the pieces started to come together. My craving for Jell-O. My sudden interest in getting out of bed. My larger-than-life appetite. I have the munchies! I am as high as a kite!! The box says that the tea is "ideal to sooth [sic] stomach aches and to help digestion... Recommended against altitude sickness beacuse it helps oxygenation of the body." Holy cow this stuff is good. I am a convert.
Note: We got our box of 100 bags for a dollar or so. Check out how much they want on Amazon.
Note 2: Look at the Discontinued Flavors of Jell-O.
Note 3: Mother's Little Helper is a Rolling Stones song about a mom who needs prescription drugs to get through the day. I thought that was a funny title considering the situation. But drugs are not funny, kids. Stay in school.
