I have learned from the Imagination Movers that all "the situation needs is some imagination." And you have to give me credit for trying. As if this move wasn't complicated enough, I went and broke my foot (simultaneously ruining my brother's birthday). Yes, you read that correctly. I know, I know. I am so graceful and unspaztacular. The Boy (with his poop issues) and MH (with his packing and dog-transporting dilemma) were getting all of the attention, so I needed to do something to remind the gods that I am special, too. Now we're like a scene from Where the Wild Things Are (a shout-out to Charles for the image and for putting a name to my disaster).Like the Tendon Tearing Episode of '99 and the Foot Breaking of 2000, not to mention the Tailbone Dislocation Effort of '02, this latest injury was inspired by complete stupidity, randomness, and lack of effort on my part. You have to admit that my injuries never occur in a fascinating way, it is what I DO with the injury that is so awe-inspiring. I mean seriously, who else would think to break her foot when she has to move thousands of miles with her (technically) sick kid, her toddler, and blind dog. I don't include MH in this list, because he is probably the only one who doesn't require laxatives or the zone-defense.
Did I digress? Let's blame it on the medicine. Not only does it make me puke, but I have a feeling it is making me a little loopy.
So, Saturday morning I got up nice and early to go to Wings over Wine Country with my Birthday Boy Brother, my Niece, and The Kids. The day started off in the same fashion it ended... sh*tty. My poor Niece had diarrhea even before we left the driveway, but we thought it better to ignore the fact that her brothers had been going for several days and continue on with our adventure. I mean, it was a Birthday Weekend (if you know my family, you know the importance of this)! Off we went.
The kids were sitting three-across in the back seat singing and dancing to Imagination Movers. The Boy was holding The Girl's hand between songs and little cartoon birds were flying around the car. As soon as we passed the last exit with signs of life, The Niece's stomach started acting funny. We exited and followed the GPS to the closest restaurant (1.6 miles away). Only it wasn't 1.6 miles away and now that I look back, there wasn't a restaurant there. We drove over miles of California farm country seeing pastures with happy cows, horses, and a long-horn steer. Fricking cows. Finally, she couldn't hold it any longer so we asked some lady if we could go in her house. My little niece is a trooper although she'll probably only remember the good-smelling soap.
Back on the road, we were off to the air show (which was ridiculously hot and crowded). I wasn't prepared. The kids had a great time. The Girl was silent the entire 2 hours until we headed back to the car and she started shouting "Air paaaaaaaane" over and over again. The ride home was pretty uneventful as well, except that those damn cartoon birds weren't following us and all hell broke loose. The Boy was possessed by a demon and I had to pull over (was it multiple times?) to give him a timeout along the highway. Oh, and The Niece almost pooped her booster seat. She couldn't possibly have been with a better group. We can handle poop. I told her as much and offered her support saying, "It's okay if you go in your seat. It's okay," to which my brother contradicted after an especially rancid fart (hers, not his - but it was his bday so that would have been fine), "Nooooooooooooo. She can make it. We're almost there. She can make it!" Of course she did make it. Little trooper. She apparently takes after someone else in the family.
By now you're asking yourself, "What about the broken foot?" Well, I didn't want to start the excitement too early in the Birthday Weekend. When we got back to my mom's house and were in the midst of wrangling up 6 kids, I went out onto the porch, tripped on the mat, heard a crack, and "down she goes..."
That's it. That's my exciting story about my broken foot. I would like to note that we had birthday cake before going to the emergency room, so the day wasn't a total loss.
