So, I was going to go to my grave with this story. No particular reason, I just thought that no one needed to know the story. Then the Gods went and played with my funny bone and now I have to share it with you. So much for good deeds.Since The Boy is on his clear liquid diet for the day, The Babysitter and I have had to try to keep any solid food eating to a minimum or at least out of eyesight of The Boy. True, he loves "Popsicle and Jell-o Day!" and I am probably going to have to do it once a month from now on, but eating a nice turkey sandwich in front of him when he's polishing off his 7th cup of Jell-o would just be cruel. So instead, I took The Girl to McDonald's.
Besides being the first time The Girl has eaten Micky D's, the outing should have been uneventful. I was along for the ride, however, so it promised to be a good one from the start. As I was walking into the restaurant, a gentleman seated by the door with a bunch of dimes and pennies spread in front of him asked if I could spare some change so he could get some food. I told him I didn't have any change on me, and honestly, I didn't.
As waited in line, I thought of my friend Julia in Bolivia. When we went out to breakfast on Fridays, she would buy little pastries as we paid our bill and she would give them to the pre-teens that wait outside to shine shoes or guard the parked cars. I didn't realize what she was doing the first time and I thought it was pretty cool that she was low-key about it. So I decided that I was going to do a good deed, as well, and buy the change guy lunch.
So I ordered the Double-cheeseburger Mini Meal and I must say, even now that sounds delicious. My mouth is watering. Those of you who know me well (or have been present when I have talked about food) know that I am not exaggerating, I had to wipe my mouth and swallow when I typed "Double-cheeseburger Mini Meal." There I go again.
Focus.
DcMM... okay, so The Girl and I went to a table and The Girl thoroughly enjoyed a cheeseburger. It was a pleasure to watch her. She kept stopping mid-chew, smiling, thumping her chest with her ketchup-covered hands (like Tim the Toolman Taylor) and squeezing her eyes shut. No, I don't think she was choking. She was in Heaven. Can you blame her? I haven't really had McDonald's much (once a year, maybe?) since it made me pass out in high school, but I am the first person to admit it is Mmmm Mmmm Good.
As we were enjoying The Girl's burger, I started to worry that my friend might not be outside when we finally finished our meal. What in the world was I going to do with a DcMM? I searched the front of the restaurant and saw a woman outside talking to someone on the ground. Good, he was still there and no one did the (good) deed before me. Then I noticed that there was another man outside of McDonald's sitting in one of those motorized chairs. Reflecting back, he had been there for quite a while. As I watched, a woman opened the door and let him in. He scooted over to me and The Girl and watched the table for a couple of minutes. I smiled and realized that he wasn't looking at us, but he was kind of scoping out the table. I am not sure he even saw us and it looked as if he had some kind of physical impairment. So, I said, "Hungry 18 month old be damned. Let's clean up and get out of here so we can do our good deed and another one by letting this gentleman have our table." No need to hurry, however. The man parked his scooter behind The Girl's high chair and then struggled to climb out of his scooter, around her chair and into the chair next to her. There he sat staring at us.
Under different circumstances I probably would have engaged in some kind of pleasantries, but my good deed was getting away outside. He was... gone! Oh no!... Oh no, he wasn't. He was just moving because... because there were two cops there trying to shoo him away! Wait, I have a Double-cheeseburger with your name on it! So I left our new lunch buddy, grabbed the chewing baby, and headed off to do God's work.
With one foot out the door I realized that this might not be the best time to approach the change guy... you know, as he's being run off by the police. In for a dime, in for a whole damn mini-meal, I guess. The cops looked like they were just about to pounce on him. He apparently was taking his sweet ole time leaving this fine establishment's front stoop. Either that or he saw me walking around with an extra bag of food. Was this the good deed I should be doing? Would the cops rough me up for being an accomplice?
Apparently my confused and dare I say statuesque.... okay statue-like... stance alerted the three to my existence. I didn't know how to slink away, so I thrust the bag at the man who said, "Thanks girlfriend," adding for my benefit (?), "God bless." It made me chuckle. The cops, on the otherhand, did not find this quite so heartwarming. They glared at me. I guess I understand, but don't they know that I was doing a good deed? Shouldn't I be encouraged? Then again, I think encouragement was exactly what they were against...
