A few weeks before The Girl's birth, as I worked on the fifth draft of my "how to care for Jack while I'm at the hospital" manual (which MH unofficially calls the Enjacklopedia), my mom told me, "You can't plan everything." While I would like to take credit for The Girl's impeccable timing, I have to admit that even I can't plan everything. I still can't believe that she was born on The Boy's birthday. Here are the details I wish I had the energy and time to share with you individually.Around New Year's I started having these weird twinges and we kept asking ourselves, "Are those contractions?" Everyone I talked to said, "You would know." I disagree because you know what? Those were contractions! When I went to the midwife the first week of January, I was 3 cm and 75% effaced. She said I could go any time (or it could be another two weeks). We were on pins and needles the entire weekend, but the good thing is that it got our butts in gear (and we thought we were pretty prepared). MH installed the car seat, we finished the final draft of the Enjacklopedia, and we did some last minute grocery shopping. Nothing changed for days. Ugh. The following week I was between 4 and 5 cm and 85% effaced and still more than 2 weeks from our due date. The midwife said that she was pretty sure I would go that weekend. We'd heard that before and decided not to make the same mistake this week and focus-focus-focus on each and every twinge.
So any guess as to how we distracted ourselves? You bet! This was the perfect time for Nacho Nite! Luckily we had an old accomplice with us. Our friend Laura was in town getting her brother settled for a DC internship. Also lucky for us, Laura was able to stay and help us with The Boy and eventually The Girl*. Our babysitter predicted that nachos (specifically refried beans) would do the trick and we would have the baby the next day. She wasn't too far off.
The next afternoon, my contractions were getting closer together (about 10 minutes apart), so we decided we had better celebrate The Boy's birthday in case something happened that night. Soon after we had the cake, I was on the phone with Rachel and she realized that my contractions were only 4 minutes apart. I must have been in denial or else we were having a very stimulating conversation, but she finally convinced me to hang up and confer with Phil and the midwife. Twenty minutes later, we were saying goodbye to The Boy and we were on our way to the hospital (The midwives wanted me there early in the birth process because I needed extra monitoring due to the antibiotics administered before the birth). I had been doing my Hypnobabies pretty consistently throughout the past week and perhaps I should have continued doing it on the ride to the hospital. Maybe it would have kept me relaxed. By the time we reached the birthing center and I got hooked up to the monitors, my contractions had stopped!
I was convinced that we had either produced the biggest troublemaker in history or the ice cream cake had upset my stomach. Because I am basically a freak-of-nature and can't handle antibiotics, we had to be careful about the type of antibiotic administered to me for Strep-B. We were trying to determine if we should go home (and let the contractions start on their own) or stay at the hospital and start the antibiotics (and use pitocin to trigger the contractions to start again). It was 8pm and we needed 4 hours for the antibiotic to get through my system but only had 8 hours until I would need another (unwanted) dose. If we went home, there might not be enough time when we returned to get any benefit from the antibiotic (with all the risk of taking it) so we decided to stay at the hospital and start the antibiotic. As soon as we made the decision to start the antibiotic, I kid you not, my contractions started up again on their own. At this point we knew that The Boy and The Girl would share a birthday!
The next 8 hours or so kind of blend together. Between 8pm and 1am, I focused on my Hypnobabies. At 1am, when the antibiotic was in my system, my water was broken and the fun began. In between more intense contractions, I asked for a milkshake and ice cream cake, and scolded MH for being a "crazy man" and having sweaty hands (he claims it was my sweat). I must have been in a pretty deep hypnotic state at one point though, because apparently the midwife and the nurse had a lengthy conversation about pancakes. MH thought for sure I was going to flip out because the only thing I craved the last 4 weeks of the pregnancy was pancakes and here they were ruminating on the various types of pancakes. I have to say, the power of Hypnobabies is fantastic. I missed that whole episode.
Let me digress to lavish praise on our midwife. From the time my water broke until 20 minutes after The Girl was born, our midwife, Paula, was by my side. How many women can claim that about their OB/GYN? Granted, there weren't any other women giving birth at that time, but our experience here is similar to our experience with The Boy's birth and a different midwifery. From 1 am when my contractions intensified until it was time to push, Paula held my hand and coached me through the tough parts. I have encountered many people who upon hearing that I use a midwife, I swear, picture me on a kitchen table with a stick in my mouth and candles burning. Throughout our pregnancy, the midwives' care and attention was superb and I felt completely confident in their skill and medical background. They approach pregnancy as a natural occurrence, not as a medical condition like (in my experience) most OBs do. Everything about the midwife approach is not only comforting, but state-of-the-art. I strongly recommend that, if your insurance covers it, you consider using a midwife for all your gynecological needs. MH likes them so much he wants to go to a midwife too, but after a careful explanation of "boy parts" vs "girl parts" he realized that there are some things we can't share.
But back to the big event... before I knew it, it was time to push. I was still listening to my hypnosis cd (albeit in one ear) and MH and the midwife continued to coach me. Paula said I only had to push a few more times and honestly, I didn't quite believe her. They said the same thing when I was pushing out The Boy and that went on almost 3 hours. I asked Paula how much longer and she said "One more push like that and the head will be out." I was determined to show her she was wrong so I pushed with all my might and wouldn't you know it... The Girl's head popped out! Seriously! My earphone popped out at some point, too, but I didn't really need it anymore. After about 20 minutes of pushing, we had our little girl. It was a completely different birth experience from The Boy's (and definitely shorter) but it was just as wonderful.
Additional notes on my support team... MH, as always, is intrigued by new experiences and learning opportunities. As a teacher, I find this quality charming. As a woman in the process of delivering a baby... well, I am too polite to describe the numerous ways in which I planned to torture MH. The birth process wasn't enlightening enough, apparently. MH engaged the midwife in a detailed discussion about the intricacies of the umbilical cord (while my leg was still up on the midwife's shoulder - I kid you not. Oh, don't mind me... I just pushed a small station wagon out of my body. Please... continue with your biology lesson.). Fascinatingly, the umbilical cord usually has 2 arteries and 1 vein. The arteries actually act as veins because they carry deoxygenated blood from the fetus - instead of oxygenated blood from the heart like other arteries in the body. After birth, the arteries turn into tendons! All teasing aside, I have to say that I don't know how I would have coped without MH. He was (and is) amazing. He was not only a great coach, but he was able to anticipate when I needed something (water, cold washcloth, pancakes...). When I would get distracted by the contractions, I would focus on his voice and get back into my zone. I knew I was a lucky girl when I met him 13 years ago, I just didn't know how lucky!
And that is Birthing Stories 101 for you. Thank you for your participation! We hope it was as fun and educational for you as it was for us.
